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Build a wall – or at least a few barriers – to prevent unwanted intrusions. Give the coal mining industry a new life. Embrace the Russians while seeking solutions for dangerous territory.
No, Svalbard likely won’t look like Donald Trump’s American, but the proposals were part of the revised “white paper” for Svalbard debated by Parliament on Tuesday. The document outlining policy goals for Svalbard is being updated three years earlier than expected due to a coal price crisis that has shut down nearly all Norwegian operations here.
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I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.