Tag Archives: Sval and Bard

‘Not a people zoo’ – locals peeved at tourists peering and peeing at cabins near town


OK, let’s try this again: Just because locals are living the wild life doesn’t make them wildlife.

Numerous complaints about tourists – and maybe even a rogue tour guide or two – intruding on private cabins (occupied and not) have been voiced in recent weeks, with visitors doing everything from barging in uninvited to using them as wind screens while answering the call of nature. While cabin owners say the problem isn’t new, or necessarily increasing, there is concern efforts by the tourism industry to educate visitors about proper behavior don’t always seem to be taking hold.

Chillingly clueless: Svalbard’s 10 strangest stories of 2015


Which is stranger: a year where parasitic wasps went on a killing spree or the year that actually happened? Yeah, we’re not sure either.

All we know is both versions of Svalbard will be back – and probably even stranger – next year.

Dishonorable mention: We watch and rank every episode of ‘Sval and Bard’ so you don’t have to


The temptation to use the moronic cliché “so bad it’s good” (and vice-versa) with great repetition is powerful since, as with anime porn, the more evil the better.

But “Sval and Bard” deserve better since – even at their good-bad moments (the kind where their lack of badness is not good, which we’re sure sounds confusing to nobody) – they deserve a spot somewhere in Svalbard’s Video Hall of Fame.

Random weirdness for the week of Oct. 27, 2015


It’s good to be bad, at least according to the early raves for our newly arrived troublemakers Sval and Bard. The duo, who first appeared last week and are planning on spending the next month violating every common sense rule in the book (and surviving the consequences with a resilience that makes Wile E. Coyote seem fragile), got mauled by reindeer and mummified in bird droppings this week but – setting aside the very real danger of such things happening in real life – it’s apparently up to us to be the harsh critics who call out the creators of the stop-motion series for the fictional liberties they’re taking.

Penal pals: ‘Sval and Bard’ show visitors how to commit Svalbard’s ten deadly sins by acting like total wankers


They arrive in Svalbard after one sticks his head out of a plane, causing the resulting suction to send them plummeting 10,000 meters into a glacier they demolish a hefty portion of. So, yeah, they merit a place somewhere in the ranks of Svalbard’s most clueless tourists in recent years.

Random weirdness for the week of Sept. 22, 2015


These guys are supposed to be our new role models for proper behavior in Svalbard. What’s wrong with this picture?