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Those outside the United States thinking they have nothing to fear from an Election Day apocalypse are oh-so-wrong on a global scale. It’s not merely that an asteroid might strike Earth (OK, that’d be pretty bad), but there’d be no desert after eating the replanted beans, rice and other wholesome foods safely housed in the Doomsday Vault.
However, it seems the caring corporate makers Oreos are riding to the rescue just in time, claiming in a YouTube video posted Friday they have built a new vault just for the chocolate sandwich cookies “down the road from the seed vault.”
About Post Author
I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.