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Posts tagged as “fake news”

Doomsday scenarios: Impending collision with Planet X, ‘flooded’ seed vault, toilet paper famine among Svalbard’s 10 strangest stories of 2017strangest

Doomsday scenarios: Impending collision with Planet X, ‘flooded’ seed vault, toilet paper famine among Svalbard’s 10 strangest stories of 2017

By Mark Sabbatini on January 5, 2018
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Read Time:14 Minute, 33 Second

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”

― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

•••••

We feel safe saying after 2017 we’re now living in an alternate universe.

About Post Author

Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
marksabbatini@yahoo.com
http://icepeople.net
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This week in Doomsday nonsense: ‘The Uninhabitable Earth,’ ‘Arks of the Apocalypse,’ DNA evidence for the end of the worldheartlesshead

This week in Doomsday nonsense: ‘The Uninhabitable Earth,’ ‘Arks of the Apocalypse,’ DNA evidence for the end of the world

By Mark Sabbatini on July 20, 2017
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Read Time:5 Minute, 18 Second

To proclaim we’re all dead men walking is hardly alarmist: that’s been the case for everyone on Earth except for a few cases like Jesus or Lord Voldemort before his Horcruxes were vanquished. But calling a bit of water leakage into Svalbard Global Seed Vault a key sign of a mass extinction event now underway comparable to the one that wiped out the dinosaurs might be a doomsday cry too far.

About Post Author

Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
marksabbatini@yahoo.com
http://icepeople.net
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Seedy sensationalism: ‘Doomsday seed vault in the Arctic has FLOODED,’ headlines scream. Not so much – and it’s old newswaterinvault

Seedy sensationalism: ‘Doomsday seed vault in the Arctic has FLOODED,’ headlines scream. Not so much – and it’s old news

By Mark Sabbatini on May 21, 2017
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Read Time:2 Minute, 36 Second

“Arctic stronghold of world’s seeds flooded after permafrost melts.” The headline quickly made it the top-read story at The Guardian’s website Saturday and spread like wildfire to other sites.

Naturally climate change skeptics everywhere screamed “fake news!” And for once they were right – if not quite in the way they meant.

About Post Author

Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
marksabbatini@yahoo.com
http://icepeople.net
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Random weirdness for the week of Jan. 31, 2017feedpolarbear

Random weirdness for the week of Jan. 31, 2017

By Mark Sabbatini on February 1, 2017
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Read Time:2 Minute, 16 Second

The only thing worse than having somebody try to con us with “alternative facts” is having them succeed. Yup, we gobbled up the fiction in the photo above hook, line and sinker.

About Post Author

Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
marksabbatini@yahoo.com
http://icepeople.net
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Pick the ‘fake news’ headline: 1) Scientists discover energy source of Rudolph’s nose; 2) Trump wants to starve Santa’s reindeer

Pick the ‘fake news’ headline: 1) Scientists discover energy source of Rudolph’s nose; 2) Trump wants to starve Santa’s reindeer

By Mark Sabbatini on December 15, 2016
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Read Time:3 Minute, 3 Second

Rudolph has a wonderful nose. An ingenious nose. Amazing ability. Tremendous energy. And brilliantly red.

If that sounds like praise from a certain orange-hued megalomaniac, consider this other shocking exposé: “Trump wants to starve Santa’s reindeer. Why, they are barely able to pull all that weight now! Who knows what will happen if all the funding flowing to scientists and universities for global warming is cut? Might have to cancel Christmas!”

About Post Author

Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
marksabbatini@yahoo.com
http://icepeople.net
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