Asgeir Alvestad

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Asgeir Alvestad’s got a whale of a fish tale, which is a good thing because trying to serve up his record-size catch as anything more than showcase would set off howls of protest.

Alvestad, 49, a Lillesand resident described in media reports as one of Norway’s most famous anglers, caught a 16.3-kilogram northern wolffish in Isforden last week, more than twice the weight of the previous record for the species in Norway. He said he used a rod to catch the fish from a depth of about 300 meters.

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Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.

marksabbatini@yahoo.com

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