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There won’t be a resurrection of normal life immediately after Easter since the coronavirus quarantine in Svalbard is being extended by several days until April 17, but Norway’s government announced Tuesday it will begin lifting nationwide restrictions starting with the reopening of daycare centers and kindergartens on April 20.
On the same date health practitioners who perform one-to-one services – such as psychologists, opticians and physiotherapists – will be able to resume much of their activity.
A week later many school operations will be allowed to resume, and the same date of April 27 is “at latest” when the government hopes “services where there is one-to-one contact, such as hairdressers, massage and skin care professionals to resume,” Prime Minister Erna Solberg said during a press conference.
“As we now ease the restrictions somewhat, I must emphasise as strongly as possible that this does not mean we can allow ourselves to grow more careless in other areas,” she said.
I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation.
Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads.
But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
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