brazilreality

Random weirdness for the week of Aug. 9, 2016

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While we’re getting a bit whacko about a certain upcoming reality TV show from the land that gave us Brexit, the Local Paper of Recaps is going to Olympic lengths when it comes to keeping it real. An article published last week notes there is already a reality show about Svalbard airing featuring Francisco Mattos, a Brazilian who moved to Longyearbyen five years ago, in a 13-episode series being broadcast on a cable network in hisland with about 20 million viewers. Titled “Minha vida en Artico” (“My life in the Arctic”), the show debuted June 3 and show him participating in various adventures ranging from volunteering as a “victim” in an emergency rescue exercise to polar bear guard duty at 89 degrees latitude north during the North Pole Marathon. A video clip of the latter links to other footage and, even though much of is in Spanish, it’s not out of the question English-only viewers may get a more real perspective about Svalbard watching them compared to that “other” show…

markpromo
What’s wrong with this picture? Not including this dude’s horrible taste in clothes, hairstyle and apparent inability to tie his shoelaces. Image courtesy of BBC Earth.

Which isn’t to prejudge the Brits’ broadcast before it actually airs – although we continue to be a bit baffled by the promo materials. Take a look at the photo to the right. It’s a snippet from an ad for the show and it doesn’t bode well if the image of our Feckless Leader reflects the overall series. The full ad features four hearty Arctic-worthy souls…and some freakish idiot sitting outside with a computer. Zoom in on the coffee mug and there’s a garish “California” logo on it. Basically, the global conglomerate overlords of Icepeople agree the show is basically declaring war on a lunatic we’d usually sell out for a latte spiked w/ Bailey’s. And why is he giving the serious Evil Eye toward one of the show’s most popular characters unless he’s being cast as an Omarossa supervillain? Then there’s that dog at his feet, a surreal sight to those of us accustomed to seeing pets immediately cozy up to our wacko wordsmith purely out of an instinct of the torture they’re inflicting. We’re still debating whether to cover for him when he makes some statement to the press like “I’m more a dog person than a cat person, in the sense I’d  be more likely to name the latter ‘Punt.'”

 

 

About Post Author

Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
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wiggopromo Previous post Highlands hype: The first TV promos for the BBC docu-soap ‘Svalbard’ are out – here’s what they tell us to expect
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