Random weirdness for the week of Sept. 29, 2015

husetparty

When we print stuff about strange crimes here it’s usually some idiocy unique to Svalbard’s laws and environment, in large part because notable “traditional” crimes are rare. But this one is a doozy: A 42-year man who admitted running up a 26,000-kroner bill during a birthday party at Huset and billing it to his employer – who obviously didn’t pay since he’s also embezzled about 100,000 kroner from the company since 2007 – has received a 60-day suspended prison sentence and a 3,000-kroner fine. (Yeah, that seems a bit light compared to the 11,000 kroner in fines you get for a kitchen mishap that sets off a smoke alarm here, but we digress.) The party, back in 2012, came after the guy had already irked his boss by selling hiking gear to friends and putting the money in his bank account. He told his boss that allowed him to sell it as a discount and he deducted the purchase price from his salary. And he wasn’t fired. So of course the shenanigans continued on a large scale until the cake collapsed, so to speak…

And speaking of regretting birthdays, we’re going to let a passage in an article in Allure mostly speak for itself. The headline: “An Anti-Aging Prescription Wrecked My Skin – Here’s How I Fixed It.” The excerpt that we care about: “The lowest point was when my (very loving) husband looked at me and said, ‘I really hate your dermatologist.’ Over the next nine months, I saw three other doctors, spent hundreds of dollars on skin-soothing remedies, and tried 17,000 creams from the Allure beauty closet. And just when things couldn’t get worse, I met a doctor who told me to give up spicy foods, alcohol, exercise, and hot climates. Perfect. All I had to do was move to Spitsbergen and eat sardines for the rest of my life. I actually cried in his office.” Um, those tears of ours are out of sympathy – honest…

Finally, we’ve spent most of our careers trying to convince people a lot of journalistic “bias” is actually incompetence. This week’s election coverage is a perfect example, since you’ll notice one of the candidate photos on pages four and five is very different than the others. Yeah, it looks suspiciously like we’re trying to prop up the Green Party since their candidate gets a nice outdoorsy shot, but that’s just because our Idiot Editor forgot to take a photo during the interview inside the cafe.