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It’s a new record for dimness with our first 12-page issue ever, courtesy of a total solar eclipse that cast light on Svalbard’s brightest and blackest sides. Unfortunate incidents such as a polar bear attacking a camper and a woman exiled for allegedly trying to set several buildings on fire were overlooked by nearly all when the skies finally cleared on Eclipse Day, providing longtime “shawdowflies” with what their called their best viewing experience ever. Check out this week’s PDF to see why more than 50,000 people are already making plans to see the next one here in the year 2061.
About Post Author
I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.