Tag Archives: Svalbard Global Seed Vault

This week in Doomsday nonsense: ‘The Uninhabitable Earth,’ ‘Arks of the Apocalypse,’ DNA evidence for the end of the world

heartlesshead

To proclaim we’re all dead men walking is hardly alarmist: that’s been the case for everyone on Earth except for a few cases like Jesus or Lord Voldemort before his Horcruxes were vanquished. But calling a bit of water leakage into Svalbard Global Seed Vault a key sign of a mass extinction event now underway comparable to the one that wiped out the dinosaurs might be a doomsday cry too far.

Doomsday deluge: Ongoing flood of articles about seed vault results in officials fencing off road during repairs

vaultfence

It’s been a month since The Guardian’s absurd story about the “flooding” of the Doomsday Vault, but new headlines and articles with various bits of nonsense are still appearing daily. And for the conspiracy theorists there’s a new wrinkle: a fence has suddenly been erected at the roadway entrance.

Random weirdness for the week of June 20, 2017

glaciergin

Yeah, lots of people make fun of Svalbarði’s “super premium” glacier water that costs 400 kroner per 750-milliliter bottle here and twice that elsewhere. But at least it’s marketable as a unique taste of the purity of Svalbard. That can’t be said for the latest bonkers beverage that’s roughly the equivalent of grinding up the world’s most expensive steak and using it to make chili.

Random weirdness for the week of June 13, 2017

lennonsvalbard

John Lennon celebrates a 50th anniversary by sticking his face in snow. Doomsday Vault Derangement Syndrome continues with links to Nazis and global human infertility. Threats from space cannibals. And can palm trees Make Svalbard Great Again?

Random weirdness for the week of May 23, 2017

miceinspace

Since the latest nonsense story about the Doomsday Vault – that it flooded it can’t handle a bit of rain and – is just regular weirdness it’s not worthy of this space (instead we put it on the front page, because of course we did). But the real winner for this week’s wacky vault tie-in goes to Space.com for their article headlined “Freeze-dried space sperm gives rise to healthy baby mice.”

Seedy sensationalism: ‘Doomsday seed vault in the Arctic has FLOODED,’ headlines scream. Not so much – and it’s old news

waterinvault

“Arctic stronghold of world’s seeds flooded after permafrost melts.” The headline quickly made it the top-read story at The Guardian’s website Saturday and spread like wildfire to other sites.

Naturally climate change skeptics everywhere screamed “fake news!” And for once they were right – if not quite in the way they meant.

Flake media: ‘Scientists Add 50,000 Seeds to Arctic Doomsday Vault Because Everything Is Awful’

seeddeposit

The eyes of the world – or at least the press – were on Svalbard last week. But it was future destruction, not the avalanche that destroyed homes and the psyche of residents, that generated headlines.

And most of the lamestream media buried the most interesting aspect of that “other” story.

Seedy story: Review: ‘Seeds on Ice’ gets global raves – but does it reveal the ‘Doomsday Vault’s’ true secrets?

caryseeds

Nobody’s ever peed inside the Svalbard Global Seed Vault, which is a bit surprising given all the media/VIP tours and the fact there’s a chemical toilet in there. Then again, it’s not like a lot of normal human functions are happening in what staffers adamantly refuse to call the Doomsday Vault.

Random weirdness for the week of Aug. 30

boobtube

Since we’re all about “Svalbard on screen” this week (stupid editor and his insatiable ego…grumble, grumble), the trolls writing this under duress while locked in a dungeon are highlighting the new reality series about this place that’s really revealing.

Into blackness: Svalbard’s 12 biggest stories of 2015

topstories15

It was already a shell-shocked community beginning to say their farewells to possibly a quarter of the town’s residents, with those left behind worrying about the future of a town with a decimated economic foundation.

Then the avalanche struck.

Either alone ranks among the most significant events in Longyearbyen’s history. Together they may reshape the town more dramatically than at any time since it was almost entirely destroyed during World War II.