Tag Archives: rant

RANT: Rumor persists the bear killed on New Year’s isn’t the one that visited in 2016. It’s utterly absurd, unless it’s the biggest and stupidest conspiracy by officials in modern times


First, to the naysayers: yes, the lip tattoo and ear marker on the bear are a match. Unless two different official agencies are telling an easily-discoverable lie for reasons beyond comprehension.

Unlike certain parts of the world where leaders are spouting non-stop “alternative facts,” claims of “fake news” and – in a new classic uttered just yesterday – “no one said this wasn’t photoshopped,” even nonconformists at this newspaper tend to trust public officials are truthful about facts regarding major incidents such as the highly controversial killing of a polar bear on New Year’s Day.

Rant: Yes, they’re really doing season two of that BBC docu-soap; that’s (gasp) a good thing


I have come not to praise, but to bury the show on many occasions during the past year. But since it’s clearly Not Dead Yet (sorry, I just discovered the existence of a Lego remake of “Monthy Python And The Quest For The Holy Grail”), I Assur (capital of Assyria, may Sir Robin rest in peace) you I will embrace the spawning of a second season with a shimmering soul.

Rant: I have seen the avalanche episode of ‘Svalbard: Life on the Edge’ and…they nailed it


It shows the pain and destruction. It shows the community in recovery. And it moves on to a whole lot of other storylines in the lives of the people here.

For me and many others, the third episode of the BBC Earth docu-soap “Svalbard: Life on the Edge” (“Ice Town: Life on the Edge” outside Norway) was the one we were most uneasy about and the one that would be the make-or-break moment in how favorably we’d feel about the 10-episode series. As anybody reading my coverage of the show knows, I’ve been something less than its biggest cheerleader at times due to my experiences as one of the 11 main “characters.”

Rant: ‘You may want to go home’ – for the last time; two hours of hell and angels evacuating Gamle Sykehuset


I’m throwing clothing, books, computers, musical instruments, cables and who knows what else wildly about in my three-room flat, not caring where any of it lands except for those things I most desperately want to keep or think I can sell. With no time to hunt for empty boxes, I’m tossing everything I value most in my life in grocery bags that are carried out by people who are largely strangers to me, but are rallying to my aid in an ultimate moment of crisis.

Maybe what I’ll remember most about being forced to permanently evacuate my apartment building on two hours’ notice is those black reusable cloth grocery bags with a “Svalbardbuttikken” logo on them. Dozens of them, piled in a corner of my bedroom where I was using them as the base of a nightstand (a throwback to my college days when milk crates were my bookshelves).

AVALANCHE UPDATE: Editor’s rant: Safe at home again, but the drama is far from over


Thanks to everyone for their kind words these past few days. For those interested in “the rest of the story,” this is a “family and friends” e-mail I sent on Christmas Eve:

Hei alle (tell me I haven’t ignored any of you long enough that you think I misspelled my greeting)…

Those of you who read my fishwrapper may know I’m back home again, although it’s anyone’s guess for how long. I’ve already written about most of what I went through early this week, so this e-mail is mostly to fill in the gaps.

Dishonorable mention: We watch and rank every episode of ‘Sval and Bard’ so you don’t have to


The temptation to use the moronic cliché “so bad it’s good” (and vice-versa) with great repetition is powerful since, as with anime porn, the more evil the better.

But “Sval and Bard” deserve better since – even at their good-bad moments (the kind where their lack of badness is not good, which we’re sure sounds confusing to nobody) – they deserve a spot somewhere in Svalbard’s Video Hall of Fame.

Rant: Fan worried about our fishwrapper’s future says people should pay for it – and then donates $1

This is the perfect example of why our little scandal sheet is the stupidest business venture in Svalbard’s history – and how being loved, no matter how rewarding – sadly has no value as legal tender.

Rant: Store Norske is in its death throes – or is it forcing the government to show its hand?


Yes, the cuts and resulting devastating impacts are probably legit, and mean the coming year will be one of the most tragic in the history of Longyearbyen.

But for those looking for a ray of hope, it’s not entirely out of the question Store Norske is trying to force the government’s hand about its pledge of ensuring a strong economic presence here.

Rant: We just got seriously “real” (a.k.a. an offically recognized member of a global alt-weekly network)


We despise self-important or press release nonsense. But this is a big day for us and we’re damned proud to announce it.

Icepeople, after more than six years, now has official cred as an affiliate member of The Associatiation of Alternative Newsweekies, which in practical terms means the stuff we spew will be out there in the global community of folks reading things like the Village Voice and dozens of other publications. 

Rant: The most insane journalism ‘full discloure’ ever (win 10,000 Turkmenistan ‘dollars’ if you can prove otherwise)


To start with, I have to disclose I’m clueless about how to explain this without inflicting everyone with a fatal case of diarrhea of the word processer. It goes something like “the author of this article is the subject of an article the subject translated for a publication that pays him in order to directly compete with the publication founded by the subject which is now seeking to…”