Tag Archives: random weirdness

Random weirdness for the week of Nov. 5, 2017

voxmovie

We’re launching an all “#fakenews” roundup this week with what we’ll call The Frightmare Before Christmas. Lot of charming drone footage of Barentsburg, interspaced with lots of animated maps and a narrating hypothesizing about Russia’s sinister Arctic ambitions, with bits of military propaganda footage mixed in at the end. All that’s needed is a shot of Longyearbyen at the end that fades to white while an explosion sounds and you’d have a North Korean snuff film.

Random weirdness for the week of Nov. 28, 2017

lastjedi

OK, here’s our totally not made-up Star Wars secret reveal: The Last Jedi Are Headbangers.

Random weirdness for the week of Sept. 26, 2017

navyship

Hmmm…this week we’ve got the military strutting its stuff in our non-militarized haven, the mayor worrying tourism will soon be as unpopular as mining (at a time when many local pols are rooting for boom times in both industries) and outrage in Hong Kong about the exorbitant prices of our local “super premium” Svalbarði bottled glacier water. So which to lead off with? Well, since a real newspaper would go with the item most likely to significantly affect the most people reading this (and in this case the plural reference may be overly optimistic), we’re obviously starting with the water weirdness…

Random weirdness for the week of Sept. 12, 2017

reindeerkids1

The sight of gunshot-riddled reindeer carcasses hanging from what’s normally a swing set at Kullungen Kindergarten is yet another reminder Svalbard is a right-wing conservative haven, no matter what stereotypes they have about Norway being an Arctic version of North Korea.

Random weirdness for the week of Aug. 29, 2017

bearflame

Maybe they’re just getting back at us for overheating the planet and melting all that sea ice they used to hunt on.

Random weirdness for the week of Aug. 1, 2017

firefighterrainbow

Maybe the photo above reveals why so few rainbows are seen in Longyearbyen. A rainbow stretching from the sea towards town earlier this month failed to make it across the road due to firefighters doing their duty at the scene. Pepa Beltran, a resident of Spain, suggests in a Facebook post the photo she took is about “fighting fires with rainbows,” but at least one commenter suggests it “looks more like they are fighting the rainbow…”

Random weirdness for the week of July 4, 2017

usvisit

We’re not saying a bunch of top U.S. officials rushed to Svalbard on that country’s Independence Day for a top-secret meeting about their missile defense operations here only hours after North Korea launched its first intercontinental ballistic missile capable of reaching the “American bastards.” It just looks like that’s what happened.

Random weirdness for the week of June 20, 2017

glaciergin

Yeah, lots of people make fun of Svalbarði’s “super premium” glacier water that costs 400 kroner per 750-milliliter bottle here and twice that elsewhere. But at least it’s marketable as a unique taste of the purity of Svalbard. That can’t be said for the latest bonkers beverage that’s roughly the equivalent of grinding up the world’s most expensive steak and using it to make chili.

Random weirdness for the week of June 13, 2017

lennonsvalbard

John Lennon celebrates a 50th anniversary by sticking his face in snow. Doomsday Vault Derangement Syndrome continues with links to Nazis and global human infertility. Threats from space cannibals. And can palm trees Make Svalbard Great Again?

Random weirdness for the week of May 23, 2017

miceinspace

Since the latest nonsense story about the Doomsday Vault – that it flooded it can’t handle a bit of rain and – is just regular weirdness it’s not worthy of this space (instead we put it on the front page, because of course we did). But the real winner for this week’s wacky vault tie-in goes to Space.com for their article headlined “Freeze-dried space sperm gives rise to healthy baby mice.”