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Posts tagged as “crime”

SEAL OF DISAPPROVAL: Man fined 20,000 kroner, but avoids prison, for ‘incorrect’ explanation to police about shooting of a seal by another person at Svea

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Read Time:39 Second

Photo courtesy of The Research Council of Norway

A man in his mid-20s has been sentenced to 14 days probation and fined 20,000 kroner for an “incorrect explanation to the police in connection with the illegal hunting of a bearded seal in Svea in June this year,” The Governor of Svalbard announced Friday.

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Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
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JOYLESS JOYRIDE: ATV stolen from Polar X near beach Sunday morning turns up at Svalbardbutikken; police seeking tips

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Read Time:1 Minute, 25 Second

Legally speaking, a rare vehicle theft in Longyearbyen when a multi-passenger ATV was reported missing early Sunday morning from Polar X at Sjøområdet. But the reason such thefts are rare is because it’s hard to actually steal and possess a vehicle since there’s no roads out of town to flee on, so police are seeking tips about the culprit after the ATV showed up a while later in the Svalbardbutikken parking lot.

About Post Author

Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
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SVALBARD A HAVEN FOR DOMESTIC ABUSERS? Report says foreign woman have few options due to exemptions from mainland social programs, leaving them in violent relationships

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Read Time:2 Minute, 20 Second

“Jasmin” is a foreigner who moved with her children from Asia to Longyearbyen several years ago to live with her Norwegian husband – but the relationship turned into one where she alleges she has long been abused by him. But because many of Norway’s social programs and the Immigration Act don’t apply to Svalbard, she’s essentially being told the only effective solution is to return to her homeland.

Her story, first reported Monday by NRK (in English via Google Translate*), is one of multiple instances of women in the archipelago who are in abusive relationships with few means of support or escape, according to the Crisis Center for the Troms region, the closest agency dealing with domestic violence matters to Longyearbyen.

About Post Author

Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
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SIX SVALBARD RESIDENTS ARRESTED ON DRUG CHARGES: ‘Small quantities’ seized Thursday night and Friday morning; suspects also had numerous weapons, governor says

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Read Time:2 Minute, 13 Second

Six permant residents of Svabard were arrested on drug charges during raids conducted Thursday night and Friday morning, according to The Governor of Svalbard. In addition to seizing a small amount of drugs, officials also seized a large number of weapons.

About Post Author

Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
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Briefs from Svalbardposten for the week of Oct. 29, 2019

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Read Time:1 Minute, 46 Second

Mary Ann’s Polarrigg sold as storied owner fights cancer, police go all-out to find shoplifter who stole two pairs of socks and errant drivers are fined for using summer tires in September snow.

About Post Author

Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
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BANK BANDIT SENTENCED: Man who stole 70,000 kr. in first-ever heist in Svalbard gets 14 months in prison, 60,000 kr. fine

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Read Time:1 Minute, 39 Second

A Russian man in his late 20s who gained worldwide infamy by committing the first-ever armed bank robbery in Longyearbyen at the end of December last year has been sentenced to 14 months in prison and ordered to pay 60,000 kroner to the three bank employees he held at gunpoint.

About Post Author

Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
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10TH ANNIVERSARY ISSUE SPECIAL: Extra-extra-extra massive amount of random weirdness for the week of March 12, 2019

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Read Time:10 Minute, 24 Second

Quiz before reading the next sentence: What worst-case local police emergency explains the “hot” vehicle in this picture?

About Post Author

Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
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‘This is not a joke. This is a robbery.’ Man accused of Longyearbyen’s first bank heist officially charged; ‘he was not looking for money at all, but attention,’ attorney says

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Read Time:2 Minute, 9 Second

A 29-year-old Russian man accused of Longyearbyen’s first-ever bank robbery by demanding money at gunpoint was formally charged this week, with his attorney stating his client was actually seeking attention and help for his psychological problems in the short-lived caper.

About Post Author

Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
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Boozer banned: Drunk and disruptive man banned for a year from all Longyearbyen establishments serving alcohol

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Read Time:1 Minute, 12 Second

An intoxicated Norwegian man has been banned from all nighttime establishments in Longyearbyen that serve alcohol for a year due to confrontational behavior Sunday night at Karlsberger Pub that ended with police ordering him from the premises.

The man’s employer said Monday he has been fired and is scheduled to return to the mainland Wednesday.

About Post Author

Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
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Moronic motorist: Man faces charges for driving truck near polar bears on sea ice near Pyramiden

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A man in his 50s who in April drove a pickup truck onto the sea ice in Billefjorden where two polar bears were nearby is facing criminal charges, prosecutors said this week.

About Post Author

Mark Sabbatini

I'm a professional transient living on a tiny Norwegian island next door to the North Pole, where once a week (or thereabouts) I pollute our extreme and pristine environment with paper fishwrappers decorated with seemingly random letters that would cause a thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters to die of humiliation. Such is the wisdom one acquires after more than 25 years in the world's second-least-respected occupation, much of it roaming the seven continents in search of jazz, unrecognizable street food and escorts I f****d with by insisting they give me the platonic tours of their cities promised in their ads. But it turns out this tiny group of islands known as Svalbard is my True Love and, generous contributions from you willing, I'll keep littering until they dig my body out when my climate-change-deformed apartment collapses or they exile my penniless ass because I'm not even worthy of washing your dirty dishes.
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