Category Archives: Rants

Rant: Fan worried about our fishwrapper’s future says people should pay for it – and then donates $1

This is the perfect example of why our little scandal sheet is the stupidest business venture in Svalbard’s history – and how being loved, no matter how rewarding – sadly has no value as legal tender.

Rant: Somebody saw a spaceship and alien beings in Longyearbyen. Somebody else assumed we’d be the newspaper that would jump on the story. So we did.

Once again we’ve lived up to our reputation for being THE source of trashy journalism in Svalbard.

An Englishman known as “Dewsburyman” told the world Saturday he’d seen “evidence of alien beings” in Longyearbyen on Saturday in the form of a photo from the webcam at The University Centre in Svalbard showing what appeared to be “a spaceship (green with gold top) parked by the water’s edge.”

Rant: Store Norske is in its death throes – or is it forcing the government to show its hand?

townincrisis

Yes, the cuts and resulting devastating impacts are probably legit, and mean the coming year will be one of the most tragic in the history of Longyearbyen.

But for those looking for a ray of hope, it’s not entirely out of the question Store Norske is trying to force the government’s hand about its pledge of ensuring a strong economic presence here.

Rant: We just got seriously “real” (a.k.a. an offically recognized member of a global alt-weekly network)

Altweeklies

We despise self-important or press release nonsense. But this is a big day for us and we’re damned proud to announce it.

Icepeople, after more than six years, now has official cred as an affiliate member of The Associatiation of Alternative Newsweekies, which in practical terms means the stuff we spew will be out there in the global community of folks reading things like the Village Voice and dozens of other publications. 

Editorial: Norway’s Russian-like tyranny threatens to crush one of Svalbard’s best news sources

barentsweb

Remember the furor about the Russian deputy PM’s visit (you should since we and lots of other media are still fixated on it)? BarentsObserver made it happen by breaking the story – and now government officials in Norway are stripping the publication of its right to publish without censorship.

Rant: The most insane journalism ‘full discloure’ ever (win 10,000 Turkmenistan ‘dollars’ if you can prove otherwise)

meinsvalbardposten

To start with, I have to disclose I’m clueless about how to explain this without inflicting everyone with a fatal case of diarrhea of the word processer. It goes something like “the author of this article is the subject of an article the subject translated for a publication that pays him in order to directly compete with the publication founded by the subject which is now seeking to…”

Icepeople staff confesses to mass corruption

We have robbed the fine people of Svalbard and beyond. But we’re really, really sorry.

‘F*** did I learn a lesson today’: Our idiot editor becomes the biggest buffoon of the great storm of ’15

“First-person coverage of the storm. I can’t wait to read all about it.”

The f**k you can’t, since I have no desire to insert myself into the news, especially when it involves my yet again being the most clueless person in town.

Open letter to intrepid novices hoping to visit during the March 20 total solar eclipse

svalbard in guardian

The following is a comment I posted at The Guardian’s website Sunday in response to an article they wrote about visiting during the March 20 total solar eclipse. It makes absolutely no mention of the insanity that will reign – suggesting a place to stay at for £90 a night, for example – so I figured trying to set their readers straight (and ours, if we had any, was worth a try).

Sucks to be me – and you, if you’re reading this

Since I’m pretty much porting my entire newspaper over to a blog site, I might as well have a category for the mindless crap that represents 99.? percent of all posts. And you’ve just wasted a bit of your life reading what’s basically a test post, But so it’s not a complete waste of time, I’ll also include some initial “insider” crap about publishing this fishwrapper.