Category Archives: Random weirdness

Wigging out: Boaty McBoatface, Aquaman, Pokémon among the stars in Svalbard’s ten strangest stories of 2016

strangemain

A travesty of an election that ignored the will of the people. A political ad where an innocent little girl was obliterated by a weapon of mass destruction. Battling alien invaders, yet again. Nuclear armageddon, yet again.

When it came to the ways we were weird, 2016 made Svalbard great again. Bigly.

Random weirdness for the week of Jan. 3, 2017

seaicemove

Since this week’s fishwrapper is pretty much all about random weirdness, it seems fitting to start this space off with an item that conveniently combines some of the more eye-opening stats of the past week. We’ve run stuff all year about record-high heat and precipitation, and record-low sea ice, so the record year-end figures weren’t in themselves all that shocking to us. But even so it did boggle our tiny minds to read the “Dec. 19-like” storm that hit last week pushed the edge of Svalbard’s ice sheet 60 to 70 kilometers further north, according to the Norwegian Metereorlogial Institute.

Random weirdness for the week of Dec. 20, 2016

nlights16

Frankly, between the avalanche risk report and the freakish heat chart below, we’ve seen enough red for the holidays. So we’re shamelessly indulging in that other holiday color known as green.

Pick the ‘fake news’ headline: 1) Scientists discover energy source of Rudolph’s nose; 2) Trump wants to starve Santa’s reindeer

Rudolph has a wonderful nose. An ingenious nose. Amazing ability. Tremendous energy. And brilliantly red.

If that sounds like praise from a certain orange-hued megalomaniac, consider this other shocking exposé: “Trump wants to starve Santa’s reindeer. Why, they are barely able to pull all that weight now! Who knows what will happen if all the funding flowing to scientists and universities for global warming is cut? Might have to cancel Christmas!”

Random weirdness for the week of Nov. 13, 2016

trumppole

Plenty of folks have suggested Svalbard as an ideal destination for U.S. residents wanting to flee instead of being ruled by The Don, but at least one person is asking Santa to give the gift of a much simpler solution – albeit one that may have people here wishing for a wall.

Random weirdness for the week of Oct. 25, 2016

asphaultgame

For those 30 folks (including our vagabond editor) who got hastily tossed out of Gamle Sickhuset this year because the building was unsafe, get ready for your revenge. No, there’s still no payout from any of the parties that allowed that clusterchuck to happen. But they’ll be able to use the collapsing former hospital as a demolision target and/or crash barrier in the upcoming video game Asphalt Xtreme.

Random weirdness for the week of Oct. 4, 2016

oiltroll

He’s a big fan of the global climate pact approved in Paris last year. And of Norway continuing to open drilling areas further and further north. How is that possible? Because, according to Karl Eirik Schjøtt-Pedersen, director of the Norwegian Oil Industry Association, “Norway has the purest oil in the world.”

Random weirdness for the week of Sept. 6, 2016

coupleballoons

If they’re creative and environmentally conscious, newlyweds Winjar and Tina Skjelten can now have safe sex for 11 years after friends filled their apartment with 4,000 balloons as part of a surprise welcome-home party Saturday.

Random weirdness for the week of Aug. 30

boobtube

Since we’re all about “Svalbard on screen” this week (stupid editor and his insatiable ego…grumble, grumble), the trolls writing this under duress while locked in a dungeon are highlighting the new reality series about this place that’s really revealing.

Random weirdness for the week of Aug. 23, 2016

marsrovergame

The Mars Curiosity Rover has returned to Svalbard and this time you’re not just allowed to drive it, but thoroughly wreck the vehicle and the pristine landscape– all for free.