Category Archives: Random weirdness
There’s always a certain irony about how our Arctic islands get so many people inflamed, but perhaps that’s just the climate here these days, so to speak, as our town at 78 degrees north just had its 78th straight month of above-average temperatures.
Don’t believe those new claims Norway is the happiest country in the world (or the recent study showing Svalbard folks are happier than those on mainland) – according to many informed people living elsewhere we’re simply deluged and deranged for various reasons. And when you see photos like what these folks at Isfjord Radio consider a proper winter wardrobe sanity would seem to be on the side of the skeptics.
Maybe it’s because things are shaping up as a rerun of last year (devastating avalanche, dozens of people hastily forced to abandon their homes for good, Wiggo’s latest tourism scheme, etc.), but the BBC is bailing on a previously announced second season of “Svalbard; Life on the Edge.”
To the many in Longyearbyen who suddenly have no address, a Very Special Letter arrived a few days ago. Actually, it’s to the “people of Longyearbyen,” but they wouldn’t have gotten it if not for some persistence by the sender and local postal officials since it was mailed to our editor who’s among those evacuated (not the first time we’ve made that inside journalism joke this week) after Tuesday’s avalanche.
The only thing worse than having somebody try to con us with “alternative facts” is having them succeed. Yup, we gobbled up the fiction in the photo above hook, line and sinker.
Imagine paying lots of bucks to see and/or hear yourself starring in the professional championship game of your choice (a thing that has actually been offered). Now apply that concept to being a brave Arctic explorer in the rugged untamed wilds of Svalbard and you’ve got a grasp on a trip being offered at the end of May by a UK company that allows “budding David Attenborough’s” to “star in your own wildlife documentary.”
Wigging out: Boaty McBoatface, Aquaman, Pokémon among the stars in Svalbard’s ten strangest stories of 2016
A travesty of an election that ignored the will of the people. A political ad where an innocent little girl was obliterated by a weapon of mass destruction. Battling alien invaders, yet again. Nuclear armageddon, yet again.
When it came to the ways we were weird, 2016 made Svalbard great again. Bigly.
Since this week’s fishwrapper is pretty much all about random weirdness, it seems fitting to start this space off with an item that conveniently combines some of the more eye-opening stats of the past week. We’ve run stuff all year about record-high heat and precipitation, and record-low sea ice, so the record year-end figures weren’t in themselves all that shocking to us. But even so it did boggle our tiny minds to read the “Dec. 19-like” storm that hit last week pushed the edge of Svalbard’s ice sheet 60 to 70 kilometers further north, according to the Norwegian Metereorlogial Institute.
Frankly, between the avalanche risk report and the freakish heat chart below, we’ve seen enough red for the holidays. So we’re shamelessly indulging in that other holiday color known as green.
Pick the ‘fake news’ headline: 1) Scientists discover energy source of Rudolph’s nose; 2) Trump wants to starve Santa’s reindeer
Rudolph has a wonderful nose. An ingenious nose. Amazing ability. Tremendous energy. And brilliantly red.
If that sounds like praise from a certain orange-hued megalomaniac, consider this other shocking exposé: “Trump wants to starve Santa’s reindeer. Why, they are barely able to pull all that weight now! Who knows what will happen if all the funding flowing to scientists and universities for global warming is cut? Might have to cancel Christmas!”