Random weirdness for the week of Aug. 1, 2017

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Maybe the photo above reveals why so few rainbows are seen in Longyearbyen. A rainbow stretching from the sea towards town earlier this month failed to make it across the road due to firefighters doing their duty at the scene. Pepa Beltran, a resident of Spain, suggests in a Facebook post the photo she took is about “fighting fires with rainbows,” but at least one commenter suggests it “looks more like they are fighting the rainbow…”

Since we’re publishing what’s basically our first-ever crime blotter on the opposite page (courtesy of The Local Paper of Rogues), we’re awarding the Stupid Crook of The Week award (presented on rare and random occasions) to the visiting folks who thought using somebody’s photocopied plane ticket would pass muster at the local liquor store. This, of course, is roughly the Evil Mastermind equivalent of trying to use photocopied currency to pay for loads of liquor (and we’d know). Reliable Sources tell us similar incidents of inebriated inspiration are common, but this was rather bigger and more befuddling than most…

Speaking of potential Legion of Doom candidates: “Who won the Rogozin incident?” Egad, are we really about to give this starved-for-attention egotist more space here? Yup, because despite being #AlternativeFakeNews we’re as easily distracted by proverbial squirrels as our evil lamestream brethern (see: Wiggy Trump). Rogozin, of course, is also known as Dmitry, the very friendly Russian autocrat who insisted on stopping by the neighborhood to say hi a couple of years ago despite being banned from Norway because of some minor spat in the Ukraine. It turns out the Russian deputy prime minister has quite a history of such stunts elsewhere, according to the Romanian news publication Zaire, and the above headline of the article suggests we’ll find out who won the wars of wills. Instead, mostly we get treated(?) to the life history of a man who “is an eccentric character even for the Russian standard of expression, beginning with his university studies in a journalism program “controlled entirely by the KGB.” He also got a graduate degree in economics and a PhD in philosophy (students: show this to your parents the next time they ask “what the hell can you do with a degree in that?”), speaks six languages, and yet “is a grobian type with a primitive, strident and arrogant nationalism, bypassed by all the dignified Russians who are decently and irredeveloped for Westerners.” Among his modern exploits was defying Romania by doing a flyover across the country despite being denied the airspace a year before he came to Svalbard. As with his excellent adventure here when he posted taunting Tweets and called our backyard Russia’s Mecca, Dmitry made his trip over Romania “in a noisy way.” And the invaded didn’t do much more than throw a snit and get peeved at three neighboring countries who went the “don’t ask, don’t tell” route over the arrogant aircraft. The verdict three years later? “Rogozin is a very naughty vocalist, the circus started…(and) the Russians are also pleased that they have provoked a dispute with a NATO state, maintaining the tension atmosphere in the region..” As a reward after that and his trip here Dmitry is now in charge of future Arctic policy, which is of course great news (literally speaking) for types like us stuck in the muck…

Finally, since the approval rating of the lamestream media is less the five percent chance the world won’t warm more than two degrees Celsius by 2100, let it never be said we didn’t present an unfiltered assertion of a self-proclaimed expert who scoffs at such scary science. Really, just for the hell of it, Really, here without snark is Steve Hayward of powerlineblog.com responding to the latest laments: “Research published in The Holocene examining deposits of certain shallow-water marine mollusks found Norway’s Svalbard archipelago in the Arctic Ocean was warmer than the present during at least three periods of time between 10,000 and 4,000 years ago, when carbon dioxide concentrations were approximately 150 ppm lower than they are now. In particular, August temperatures on Svalbard were 6°C warmer from 10,200 to 9,200 years ago than they are now; warmed again around 8,200 years ago when the researchers estimate Svalbard was 4°C warmer than present for a period lasting for more than 2,000 years; and warmed again for a short time period during the Medieval Warm Period 900 years ago.”

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